The alarm blasts through the crisp morning air like a knife slicing a freshly picked apple. I wake up with a start... For a few seconds, I am confused where I am. Still groggy, the room slides back into focus. Oh yes. I am in my hostel room. And I have an exam today. Reluctantly, I get out of my warm bed, slide my feet into slippers, and proceed to get ready for another tiresome day.
Fourth Year at Law School seemed so easy. Back when I was in the First Year, I would see my seniors playing scrabble, go jogging, watch movies, and I would wish to go to the last years of law school as soon as possible. My innocent 18 year old mind had no idea that it is going to be the exact opposite.
With the completion of the degree looming near, people around you start panicking and getting frantic about getting a job or getting a scholarship for higher studies. Panic is severely contagious. Two minutes into a conversation with a batchmate about instant noodles, and soon, you are talking about future plans. Ten minutes later, the person leaves and you sit and stare at a point in space, swaying back and forth, biting your nails, wondering what the hell you are going to do with your life.
First, I tried to keep calm. Sounds easy? Try not to get fried while swimming in heated oil. That is easier. If there was a bacteria that caused pessimism, Law School would be the breeding ground for it.
"Oh my god, the market is at an all time low! We are not going to get any jobs!!!"
"Didn't you hear, ABC firm recruits only people that have a CGPA of 9.5 on 10!"
"Oh, that professor? You really think he is going to mark us well? No matter how well we write, he is going to fail us. We are doomed, man. Doomed."
Not to mention, jealousy:
"Did you hear? She applied to be his Research Assistant! She is going to get an awesome job now, dude!"
"Why are we even bothering? He's going to be approached for the job. We don't have moots and debates and journals on our resume! Everything is hopeless!"
And then there are times when life is downright unfair, like when a comparatively undeserving person gets a coveted position in some committee, board, department or society, merely because he or she is dating a person in the selection committee, or some such ridiculous reason. Then you start wondering too, what IS the point of working like a donkey, when having contacts wins always?
But then, you have to just look the other way and keep trying...
So you keep applying for posts, keep writing papers, keep studying to keep your grades. In others words: slog.
The question "Is all this worth it?" keeps popping in your head like a warning message for low battery. So, I read this, and convince myself:
"A ship in port is safe, but that's not what ships are built for," said Rear Admiral Grace Murray Hopper.
